Please be warned this is a pretty sad blog post.
Very recently we finally managed to buy and move to a larger place in Southampton, this and work has kept me from posting much recently. This move was to provide a stable, we rented, and better space for the family which not included my mother in law who had come to live with us since the end of Dec of 2020, she was struggling to look after herself and there was a brief window in COVID restrictions enabling us to easily get her. Unlike the UK government ministers we strictly obeyed the rules.
And yes that’s how long (16 months) a single no chain house sale and no chain buy goes in the UK, don’t talk to me about estate agents and solicitors I don’t have a good word to say about them, and let’s just say we where not fussing in our selling our buying we moved fast, they did not.
So by mid / end of April 2022 we finally got the keys to the place we wanted, it needed some minor tweaks to the rear of the property for a proper wet room and larger family space, we found amazing builders that cracked on straight away. And by mid May it was pretty much completed. We all moved in 24 May.
But on the 1st of June, 8 days after all the boxes and mother in law arrived in her new bedroom, she had pain, out of the blue, we thought perhaps anxiety from the move, she has slight dementia, perhaps a flare up of Diverticulitis, a conditon she had before.
Yet here I am sat in the hospice where she has been for around 8 days now, everyone including the paramedics that took her to hospital for pain relief and the doctors didn’t expect any issues beyond the diverticulitis and a quick discharge but they did take a routine CT scan, this scan instead of revealed nothing of significance shed light on completely unknown late stage terminal cancer.
My mother in law is 85 but we expected at least a summer or more in the new home together, relaxed in a surrounding that fitted us all much more comfortably. The location we are in is also very flat and central and provides easy access to coffee shops and easy trips out with a wheel chair, trips we will never perform now.
Moving house is stressful, moving house with the specific intention to provide better final days for your Mother in law was the plan, for it to be cut so short is a shock for all the family.
The hospital said days but she keeps motoring on, we have all been doing shifts in the wonderful local hospice on z beds and such, so she is never alone, she has always wanted and needed company, being brought up in a not so good orphanage around / after World War 2 and being very hard of hearing, the last thing she wanted was to feel isolated and like she had returned to a place on her own where no one cared.
Here the staff not only care but have been gracious and kind to allow us to come and go as we please, at one point (so far) the max has been 5 family members camped out in her room and many daily visitors which has been lovely.
She is not in pain and is enjoying the family around her and any treats she would like.
Some of 2022 won’t turn out quite as I expected. Some of it doesn’t really matter, some of it does.